everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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