I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
