I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
