Welp...herpes.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
