Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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