What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dick very happy bro
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
