i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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