so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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