butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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