I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
