Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
