Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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