If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
