Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
