I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
