you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize