So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
