It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
