check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I believe in your delicious
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
