Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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