i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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