By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's shark week go big or go home
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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