mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
