Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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