For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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