love makes seman taste better
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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