Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
