its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
