Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize