I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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