that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
