I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
