Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize