i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
