I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
