I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hippo gnu deer
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
