HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
