I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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