it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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