i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
