if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
