I will die if light touches me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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