if you like me you must not know who I am
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
