bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
