Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize