i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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