Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize