Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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