Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
