I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
