Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All the doctor said was why
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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