So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Holy sore nipples Batman
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
