we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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