He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
