So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
