New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
