is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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