I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
