He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
