did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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