Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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