mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If that was your dad, he is hot
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
