i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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