Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
