Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
