Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
