Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
