We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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