After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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