Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
