i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
