"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
