nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Who wears a wallet chain?!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
