508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We need to rekindle our bromance
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
