I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
