I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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